As you may already know, the MelonHeads are a "seedy bunch". We have a time honored tradition to uphold regarding who becomes a member of our team. We won't let just any bad seed join our ranks. To become a MelonHead you must meet certain standards.

To discover if you meet those standards, take a couple moments and answer the 25 questions on the MelonHead Quiz. For each question, just click on your answer and see how you fare. If you respond correctly, you will be allowed to continue. Sometimes there is more than one correct answer.

The acronyn RAGBRAI stands for Riding Another Great Beer Run Across Iowa?

Does you favorite fluid replenishment drink come in an aluminum can?

Have you ever gotten home from RAGBRAI or other rides and discovered you forgot to remove a temporary tattoo or sticker from a very personal part of your body?

On RAGBRAI, have you ever had to cram yourself into a small restroom to take a sink bath with four naked guys ?

Special Bonus: Any woman who answers "yes" to this question is automatically accepted as an honorary MelonHead member.

If you were asked to describe a "Power Bar", would your first response be: "A place to drink heavily?"

Why is this unusual set of beads affectionately called "LUCKY BEADS?"

They are LUCKY because while driving home after a ride, a young lady wearing these beads successfully avoided a DUI citation. The officer couldn't stop laughing.

Because after being forced to take a cold shower on RAGBRAI, any man whose penis is larger than the bead is said to be LUCKY!

This string of beads is said to be LUCKY because to win them from the wearer all a womon has to do is to kiss all SEVEN of the little penises.

They are LUCKY for the wearer because there are ONLY SIX little plastic penis beads on the string.

When you hear the words "draft line", is the first picture to enter your mind a column of thirsty riders waiting to get a frosty mug of beer?

Do you often find the noises created by tent zippers, banging aluminum poles or slamming KYBO doors more irritating than the sounds of fingernails on a blackboard?

Multiple Choice Question:

One of these four people has been known to frequently party with the MelonHeads.

Who is it?

During a long, hot, hilly day, have you ever called Jim Green something other than RAGBRAI Co-ordinator? Think about it...I bet you have!

On RAGBRAI, have you ever ridden by this man and yelled out.....

"Pork ChoooooooooooooP?"

You might want to get out your calculators for this one.

On a hot summer day you are climbing a 7% grade against a 12 MPH head wind on your 16 pound titanium bicycle. Your gearing is set at 42/17 while you maintain a pedaling cadence of 60 RPM.

You have 4 miles of this uphill before you descend down a 6% grade for 3 miles with the 12 MPH wind now on you left side. On the downhill run you will shift to a 52/12 and pedal at 90 RPM.

You body weight is 165 pounds and your body fat percentage is a lean 12%. For energy you have just consumed one Power Bar containing 168 grams of carbohydrates.

Now neglecting rolling resistance and effects of Coriolis forces in your calculation ... please answer the following question:

Are you stopping for beer at the next bar???

Have you ever used something other than toilet paper to finish off a visit to the kybo or cornfield? Photo documentation is not required!

Have ever you done at least one of the following:

Have you ever taken pictures of a teammate in a very compromising position while on RAGBRAI or any other ride and then used those pictures to extort beer money?

Multiple Choice Question:

During the week of RAGBRAI, which of the following do you usually find is the COLDEST???

During the week of RAGBRAI, which of these two individuals do you stop to see more often?

Logic Question:

It's ten o-clock at night. After a long day of riding and drinking on RAGBRAI, two members of the MelonHeads biking team (one male and the other female) go knocking on doors to see if a local homeowner will allow them use of their shower. Who be the first to succeed?

You may want to visit the "Meet the MelonHeads" page and take a look at both our male and female club members before making your decision. Put yourself in the homeowner's shoes...which of the two would YOU be willing to let get naked in your home?

On the RAGBRAI days when Jim Green has planned that the bars are few and far between; have you ever carried some form of alcoholic beverage in your waterbottle?

After RAGBRAI is over, do you still find yourself:

Craving a Bloody Mary before breakfast?

Using the opposite sex's restrooms when in public places?

Walking out of local taverns with an open bottle of beer?

Yelling out "on your left" when passing other automobiles?

Tossing beads at barmaids and yelling "show 'em"!

Multiple Choice Question:

Examine the picture below carefully then select the proper answer. What exactly is this?

A

Bicycle Rack at the State Capitol Building

C

MelonHeads performing their rendition of MOON RIVER.

B

Saddam Hussein's Weapons of Ass Distraction!

D

Before and after pictures from a Jenny Craig diet advertisement.

Multiple Choice Question:

What is the commonly accepted definition of the term: "BEER MILES?"

A

Beer miles is the number of cans required stacking one on top of each other to reach a mile.

C

Beer miles is the total length of piping in a brewery.

B

Beer miles is the key variable in the formula Jim Green uses to determine the total distance for each day of RAGBRAI.

D

Much like "Frequent Flier Mileage" that you receive for every dollar charged on your credit card; "BEER MILES" is mileage credit you receive for every beer you drink along the biking route.

This way you can ride less...but enjoy it more!

Multiple Choice Question:

When you enter into a serious technical bicycling discussion with fellow riders., which of the following might be a typical topic of discussion?

A

The total bike weight saved by converting to a titanium seat bolt.

C

The freewheel cassette cluster you plan to use for tomorrow's century ride.

B

The additional number of throw beads you can carry in your new bike bag.

D

Whose turn is it to carry the blender, tomorrow?

Is the most important tool you carry in your bike bag....a beer koozee?

If tomorrow, you won $20,000,000 in the Powerball Lottery, would you be willing to purchase a Class A Winnebago motorhome (stocked with beer and food) for Team MelonHead to use each year during RAGBRAI?